April Goals

Here we are again. Another month is upon us. Can you believe it’s April already? I don’t want to believe it.

As part of my little “2014 Monthly Goal” experiment I had promised to myself that I would set some monthly goals come rain or shine. Last month was a disaster in achieving those goals and the month prior to that wasn’t great either, but I’m still hanging on by a tiny threat so I’ll continue.

Here it goes:

– Back to tracking with My Fitness Pal. If I do nothing else this one is non-negotiable.  I’ve slowly been working on tracking everything, all the time.  I plan on being really good about this during the month of April.
-I started my C25k/Turbo Fire hybrid yesterday. My goal is to stick to the schedule I set for myself for this month.
-Continue with my gratitude journal either along with a daily blog post or on its own if I don’t write a post. I’ve been loving the journal so far. It reminds me to look on the bright side even when things are awful.

Since this is kinda a new beginning for me, I wanted to post my re-start stats.

-Weight:  187.4 (gained a few 😦 )
-Waist:  37
-Hips:  42
-Thighs:  L: 22  R:  22
-Arms:  L: 12 1/2   R: 12 1/2

*I gained weight but I lost inches.  Interesting!

I also took pictures for myself so I could see progress but I don’t think I’ll post them here until I have a comparison photo to add to them. Stay tuned for that and hope progress appears. Otherwise I’ll just have a bunch of fatty pics on my phone that no one should ever lay eyes on.

Gratitude Journal: I’m thankful that no matter what happens in life it’s never too late, too far gone or too “over” to try again. You can always pick up the pieces and move forward. Things in the past are in the past. You will never be able to change those things (unless you meet Doc and Marty McFly). They may be mistakes or things you wish had never happened but in all honesty they did teach you something about life and yourself. I would never trade my experiences. They have made me who I am today and I happen to like myself. Mostly!

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Day One of C25K

Man oh man!

I planned on doing day 1 of C25K on Monday but I couldn’t wait so I got to it on Sunday morning. I’m glad I did…

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The day was absolutely perfect!  The weather felt good…not too hot and not too cold.  I told the kids to get ready and they grabbed their scooters and off we went.  I didn’t really know what direction we were going to go in so we just winged it for the most part.  My neighborhood is super hilly and I’m a chicken shit about that but I keep reading things that say hills are a positive in training so I reminded myself of that several times during my wog.

It may be because of Turbo Fire and the endurance those workouts take but the workout felt semi easy today.  I did get a little tired toward the end but I wasn’t doing a bunch of “when the hell is this interval over” type stuff.  The intervals actually seemed to fly by.  I LOVED it!  I know that I could technically skip forward a week or even two but I promised myself that I would do this program slow an easy so that I could avoid injury.  I’m going to stick to that.

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I even got a decent calorie burn going.  I’ll take that!  The HRM was beeping at me furiously on some of those hills.  I just took that as a sigh of my badassness.

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I have to say that I’m loving Runtastic as my running app.  I was using the Nike+ app but I had the Runtastic Pro app somehow (I think I got it for free at one point) so I decided to check it out.  It’s really cool!  I had some technical difficulties at first because I couldn’t get my C25K app and the Runtastic app to play nice when I was trying to play my music but in the end they both cooperated.  The Runtastic app is pretty cool because it has live tracking (like a certain Garmin watch that I want) so I’m excited to see if that’s a feature I’ll use often.  It also breaks down your splits, which I don’t really need right now but will use in the future.  😉  I also like the picture taking feature and the estimated calorie burn is pretty close to accurate.  I’d recommend the Runtastic app if you are looking for something to track your workouts.

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Overall my first workout back to running was all that and a bag of chips.  I felt amazing during the run and after.  My kids were my partners but I think they are going to stay home next time.  They kept complaining and I had to double back a few times for my son on the hills.  Kids just aren’t going to push themselves as hard if they don’t have to.  Ha!  When we got home they claimed that I was running way too fast which is funny because I was just going at a speed that felt good.  From my stats it’s also obvious that I wasn’t running “fast” by any standards.  They are too funny! Next C25K workout is on Wednesday and I’m looking forward to it!  In the meantime I’m going to do some stretching and I’ll throw in a TF workout somewhere.  Honestly…I think TF really helped keep me in fairly decent shape so that I could do today’s workout without a lot of issues.  Boom!

Gratitude Journal:  I’m happy that my kids see me trying to be a good health role model.  It’s important to me that they see me working hard at a goal so that they too can learn to set goals and work toward them.  I need to keep this in mind when I want to give up or when I want to complain about how I look, etc. (not good for the 12 year old girl!).  I’m also happy that they were excited to join me today.  They have already said they are never going again but if they decide they want to, I’ll let them.  Even if it causes more work for me.  Hehe.  😉

Kool the Jets

You know, instead of Kool and the Gang.

Makes sense, right?  Yea…I didn’t think so either.  It’s just the first thing that popped into my head when I wrote that title.

Any who, what I’m really trying to say is that I’m foaming at the mouth to start the running program again but I really need to “kool” my jets on that.  Right?  Now that I have this bug up my butt I’m gung ho and want to get going but I’m also thinking that I should first lose a few pounds although I’m at my lowest weight in years right now.  I’m compounded (see what I did there?) by the possibility of injuring myself because of the extra weight on my ass.  I know that’s probably an unfounded fear since other exercise is probably going to put some stress on my joints and muscles just like running would but I’m still on the fence about the whole thing.  What’s a indecisive girl to do?

As I figure it, I have a couple of options.  1.)  I could start my Turbo Fire workouts and do some relaxed walking in addition so that I can build up to running.  2.)  I could start C25K and skip Turbo Fire all together (cause Lord knows I won’t complete both programs consecutively…hey…you try it if you think it’s easy!).  3.)  Or, I could start C25K as it’s meant to be done at 3 times a week and use Turbo Fire as a cross training workout on 2-3 of the other days.

Hmmmm!

I choose #3!  That option seems like it would keep me mostly entertained because we all know what happens when I get bored with my workouts.  I don’t want to wait to start the run training because honestly, I’m so pumped up for it right now that it would be dumb to put it on the back burner.  Plus I would just be counting down the days until I could be done with Turbo Fire if I wait.

My anal retentive self is happy with that decision.

I’m off to re-figure my workout plans.  Boom shakalaka.

Gratitude Journal:  I’m happy for my ability of deductive reasoning.  Ha!  I’m just about always able to come up with something that makes me happy when I’m faced with several decisions.

Running, Again?

I’m going to attempt a more consistent blogging schedule.  In order to do that I probably need to have something more consistent to write about.  Right?

After posting my problems (again) yesterday I started to slowly realize that my fate is completely in my hands.  It wasn’t a new revelation, it’s just something I seemed to have forgotten about.  Isn’t it a blessing as well as a curse that everything in your life is controlled by you and you alone?  Sometimes I would rather have “Jesus take the wheel” and quit everything all together.  Throw my hands up and announce to everyone and everything that in fact “fuck this shit” sounds about right and nothing else will do.  It’s a pipe dream but one can have fantasies anyway.  Yes?

All of that said, I spent the rest of the day yesterday (before I had to go to work anyway…have I told you how I hate my new schedule?) getting organized.  My OCD took over and I couldn’t rest until I had everything figured out in regards to my workout plans.

I dug up this exercise folder I made a while back….

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In it I have a weight loss journal to track progress, a motivational reminder, and my holy grail calendar.

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I have a type A personality and putting things together like this gives me so much joy and more importantly a sense of control. Many people use their phones to organize themselves, and I do too for some things, but for this particular aspect I love to see pretty and organized papers.  Swoon!  Ha.

As I was doing all of this I remembered, quite hesitantly, that I had a deferred race entry from last year.  I had signed up for the Surf City 10K in Huntington Beach, CA but ended up asking for a deferral because of training issues.  I was bummed to withdraw but also kinda glad. It would have been my first 10K and I was no where near ready to do it.  I was scared to even try for it.  I couldn’t wrap my head around actually completing the race successfully which is really sad.  Any thoughts I had regarding the race where negative and I couldn’t muster up the courage to change that mindset.

Any who, fast forward to yesterday.  I found the deferral email that I was supposed to keep, checked the website to see if registration was open, and then emailed the event organizers to get my code.  They emailed me back pretty quickly and directed me to their website with a link.  The link brought me to the Surf City Marathon and Half Marathon site not the 5K, 10K, 10 Miler one.  I paused for a second contemplating my options.  Then I started thinking that I had always had the half marathon option in the back of my mind.  The date looked good, being almost a year out, and I started to TALK MYSELF INTO IT!  WHAT?  I entered my info and hit submit.  I’m officially registered for my first half marathon on Sunday, February 1, 2015.

So after all of that I HAD to get my shit together.  For sure!

I sat down and planned out my workout schedule for the next few months.  It’s going to be intense and I’m apprehensive and nervous about how I’m going to get this done.  My track record for completing workouty things isn’t good, as you know, but I’m doing myself a disservice if I don’t decide to at least try…again.

You can see in the above pic the start of my half training.  Just for shits and giggles, here is what I want to do in regards to training (there goes my OCD again…I can’t leave it without writing it down here!):

  • Officially back to Turbo Fire on March 30th.  I’m starting again with week 1.
  • When I hit week 16 of Turbo Fire, I’ll add on C25K.  This will be July 13th.
  • Turbo Fire is complete the week of August 10th.  Pray that I make it!
  • C25K is complete the week of August 31st.
  • I’m going to find a 5k for September 6th or 7th.  Following the 5K I’ll work on timed runs for a week and see how far I get.
  • September 14th is my first week of Half Training.  I decided to use the Jeff Galloway method since I have heard many good things (he is the official face of the Disneyland Tinkerbell Half training program) plus I already have the app.  The program runs for 19 weeks which will give me a week of taper before the big dance.
  • Race day on February 1st.

Man…that sounds scary and hard and like something I really don’t want to do.  *Slap*  Am I seriously complaining already?  Why, yes, I am!  I need to stop with the negative self talk and just get my ass in gear.  I’m waiting with baited breath for March 3oth. The next week is going to be dedicated to getting my nutrition and general mind set under control.  I’ll probably be reading a bunch of advice magazines and books as well.

Lets do it!

Gratitude Journal for March 21, 2014:  Today I’m thankful for the ability to make up my own mind. I’m thankful that I live in a country where women can do what they want to do. The sky is the limit if you put your all into it.

March Madness

March is just about over and I have to say that I have not stuck to my goals. at. all!

I have not tracked regularily.  I have not eaten the amount of fruits and veggies that I should be eating.  I certainly have not reached my weekly exercise calories.  And the gratitude journal, yea, about that…

My March goals are not being accomplished.  That’s one thing I can say for sure!

My weight is hanging in there and I’m teetering about a pound up and then a pound back down.  So in general I think my eating is decent even if I haven’t been tracking consistently.  I have noticed that things have gotten a little more flabby though which is not cool and I know it’s related to not working out for close to 2 weeks now.  You can definitely lose weight without working out but your body isn’t going to look the same as when you add exercise to the mix.  Exercise tones and refines everything, so it’s definitely necessary.  I completely realize that!

I stopped doing Turbo Fire a couple of weeks back because of the medications my doctor put me on.  One side effect could be “tendon rupture” and that scared the crap out of me.  Turbo Fire is rough and demanding without possible side effects so I decided to take the easy (safe) way out.  I finally finished the medicine this week so I’m going to get back to the workouts soon.  I’ll probably wait a few more days until I stop feeling sore (yes, I haven’t exercised and I still feel sore…part of the damn medicine effects).  I’m really bummed because I had a great rhythm going with the workouts.  It’s going to be hard to get myself back into the mind set and then wrangling up the will power to get it done.  *Sigh.

Since my March goals have kind of fallen to the side because of several factors, I’m just going to try to finish out the month by sticking to the basics (I’ve been doing REALLY bad with this stuff):

  • Eat dinner at a decent time.  I’ve been eating after work which ends up being 10pm.  I probably should do breakfast and lunch (which I skip a lot of the time) at regular times as well.  I’ve been all over the place.  So come to think of it, I’ve probably stayed around the same weight because I’m not eating meals at all and then eating smaller amounts when I do.  No wonder I feel like crap.  Awesome!
  • Pick up the water intake again.  I’ve let that fall behind as well.
  • Sleep!!!  I don’t do much of that at all and I’m so fucking tired.
  • Track my meals/snacks!
  • Try to relax!  Stress is consuming me.

Well…that’s it.  March is a wash for me, apparently.  I can’t go back and “fix” anything so my goal is just to move forward and make some small changes to the way I do things.  I don’t really feel bad about March, I’m giving myself a pass.  As I mentioned in February, I’ve just had a lot of stuff going on and it happened to carry over to March.  Just keep swimming, right?

February Goal Wrap Up and March Goals (also WI results)

I’m not even kidding when I say I have had the worst month of February EVAH!  Seriously.  I can’t even begin to tell you how much the last month has sucked.

I’m so stressed I can barely breathe.  I don’t eat.  I don’t sleep.  I barely have the will to get up in the morning but somehow I continue to live and move about.  I don’t necessarily want to, but I do it because there is no other choice.

I don’t even honestly know what my goals were for the last month.  I had to look back on the post to see what promises I made to myself and here is the outcome:

  • Track everything I eat/No fast food
  • Turbo Fire as scheduled
  • Work through PUSH

Considering that I have had the month from hell it’s really surprising to me that I actually completed most of the goals I had above. Imagine that!!!!  I’m actually a bit shocked myself.  I can’t say that I consciously completed the tasks but in one way or another I got it done.  I ate out 3 times that I can remember and the restaurants didn’t have a drive through so I guess that’s win?  I tracked most everything and most of the time.  I know I missed some stuff here and there but I did track pretty regularily.  I mentioned it before but I’m now on My Fitness Pal instead of Weight Watchers.  Saving those Benjamins!!  Or not…I don’t think I’ve even know what a hundred dollar bill looks like in real life.  Ha!  Moving on….

I’ve been doing TF on a regular basis.  I took a few days off last week because I was having problems with every body part and organ I house and therefore decided I was just going to take a break for a bit.  I got back to it today.  Didn’t want to but ended up burning 400 calories even though I barely tried and took it fairly easy.  I’m disappointed by that because I really am a perfectionist but I guess it is what it is.

I’m nearly done with PUSH.  Loved the program and I learned several new things while going through it.  If you implement the program I can see it getting you to your goals whatever they might be.  That said, I worked through the program and did the assignments but I can’t say that I have implemented or stuck to plan.  Maybe another time, right now I’m just thoroughly defeated and I can’t imagine adding anything to my plate at this time.  Unless it’s an In n Out cheeseburger.  That I could add to my plate!

So there we are.  That’s February in a nut shell!  And what do I have to show for it you ask?  Well….here are my results for February:

  • Current Weight: 185.6 (Yes I’m listing it because I just don’t give a shit anymore)
  • Loss: Around 5 pounds.  I say “around” because I don’t have any idea what my weight was at the beginning of February (and the info is hostage on WW) so I can’t give an accurate measure for the month of February.  I’ve been so all over the place with tracking days and locations that I don’t even know anymore.  I do know that I have hit the lowest weight in about 7-8 years with that number.  Yay! *eyeroll*  Somehow that’s not impressing me.

I won’t officially do any progress pics or measurements until the end of this week so that will be a separate post.  I’ve definitely lost inches though and I know that because pants I haven’t fit comfortably in forever seem to be big.  We’ll see!

Now comes the most difficult part for me.  Figuring out my goals for the month of March.  I have a lot of personal/life goals at this point such as “try to survive this hell you are living” so it makes it difficult to focus on health but I decided never to give up so I’m going to throw some shit up here because I have to.  Boom!

Goals for March 2014 (all previous goals continued plus):

  • More fruits and veggies and keep up the water intake!!
  • Minimum of 2,400 calories burned a week via exercise.
  • Keep a daily journal listing what I’m thankful for on that particular day.

Previous goal reminder for myself:  track, no fast food, TF, finish PUSH.

And that’s it!

Being A Crybaby!

Weigh in results:

Gained  0.8 pounds

Saturday I decided to do my weigh in.  I recently changed my weigh in day from Sunday to Saturday.  It was the whole “going crazy on the weekend” thing that kinda convinced me to do it.  I was part of a group on Facebook and everyone was basically saying that they would in no way weigh in on a Sunday because that gave them too much stress.  I automatically started thinking the same way and decided to change my weigh in day.  Why?  I don’t know!  Because everyone else was doing it?  Probably!

Anywho, this week that change proved to be the wrong move.  Next week it might be different?  I hopped on the scale (ok, barely crawled to it because the day before I had a hard workout) and it showed a gain.  I stood there for a few moments with my mouth hanging open.  Then I came back to reality and realized that my tracking has been off, I’ve been stressed to the max, and I haven’t been sleeping very well either.  All of the above could definitely explain the gain.  Right then and there I decided that I just needed to keep going.  I decided to throw on my workout clothes and burn 869 calories with Turbo Fire.  Not what the old me would have done!!

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Sunday morning I decided to get up and weigh myself again (daily weighing is a great motivator for me).  This time the lowest weight in months stared back at me.  Of course my grin stretched from ear to ear.  Seeing that gave me the motivation to keep going!

I decided to track more strictly, do my TF workouts as planned, and continue with PUSH.  I’ve also been drinking lots of water (which is probably the only thing that saved me from an even bigger gain) and tracking with a new app I found called Waterlogged. Love that app!  You can put in how many ounces your goal is per day and then log every time you drink a water bottle.  It totally motivates me to pick up that glass or bottle.  Added bonus, I feel much better and seem to have a little more energy.  Yay!

In regards to my tracking I had to cancel my Weight Watchers subscription because I couldn’t afford it anymore (see below) and decided to go back to My Fitness Pal.  I love WW but it’s not available anymore so I have to make due.  Moving on…

So that is the recap on my weigh in and what I’m doing to move forward.  Next is where the cry baby part comes in.

I completely understand that people around the world have worse situations than me.  I understand that there is poverty and illness and violence which I’m not subjected to.  I try to always remember that my life is blessed and that I should be grateful for everything in it.  Don’t get me wrong, I am grateful, but for the last two + months things just seem to suck in many aspects of my life.

I’m trying to hold on and continue on the path that I set out for myself but it’s really hard when so many things are thrown at you and you don’t have an answer for those problems.  I left my job of three years recently.  That was fine and dandy until my husband was laid off from his job in construction.  Since he is the main money maker, that put a big burden on us.  It’s not the first time it has happened and it’s not the last but each time it happens it sends things into a tailspin.  Stressing over how to pay the bills and feed the kids makes me sick.  Which takes me to my next problem!  Fighting.  Non stop!  My husband and I are both very stubborn. With the added stress of our job situation, all we have done lately is blame each other for everything.  I’m just tired of it and I’m ready to throw in the proverbial towel.  Then comes the issue of my own health.  My diabetes is now under control with my A1C numbers coming back perfect over the last 3 months but I’m still dealing with the h. pylori infection.  I have had two rounds of antibiotics, each 2 weeks and high dosage, and the damn infection will. not. go. away.  My primary doctor is at a loss and has now referred me to a gastroenterologist so that they can scope to check for other potential problems.  Awesome!  I’ve always wanted to have a scope pushed down my throat or up my ass.  Can’t wait for my appointment on Thursday to see which end is the winner.  All jokes aside, I’ve been dealing with the h. pylori for close to a year.  Well, I’ve officially known I had it for a year but my suspicion is that it’s been around even longer.  I had symptoms prior to my diagnosis that I mentioned to my then doctor and was just written off.  I’m thinking it’s more like 3 years now.  Cool!  H. pylori in itself isn’t that detrimental if you get it under control.  I have a hunch that my infection is “advanced” at this point which has potential for causing ulcers or in the worst case scenario, stomach cancer.  I’m so tired of dealing with this issue and all that comes with it.  I don’t even know what it’s like to feel healthy and normal anymore.  I’m sick, tired and defeated!  And my final complaint….my hip and lower back SUCK ASS!  I’ve been really into TF and those workouts can make a healthy person sore but with my issues I’m basically a hunchback after doing the workout.  I can’t do anything that involves “plies” or the “round house kicks” because my hip won’t cooperate.  Believe me, I try to force it, but the bitch won’t move the way I want it to.  Then my back gets involved and it’s all over.  Popping pills like a crack whore just to sleep at night.  Everything is a mess.  I’d like to just pack my shit and move to Mars.  Are they still taking applications for that?

I guess that’s all the complaints I have for now.  I could think of more but I’m even getting on my own nerves.  Now where are those muscle relaxants/pain killers…I need a nap.  Ugh!